I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.
Quote by Sandra Bernhard:
Quotes by other comedians
My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.
And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other five billion people on the planet, you selfish fuck. C'mon! You were walking back to your Malibu beach colony home and stubbed your toe on some driftwood, it's not a fuckin' emergency, alright? There's other people with real problems.'
After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.
Eve, who asked Adam, "Does this fig leaf make me look fat?" Never got a dinner! (Got an apple, but never got a dinner.)