Quote by Shelley Berman:

I quit smoking well over twenty years ago.

Comedian
Short bio
Sheldon Leonard Berman was an American comedian, actor, writer, teacher, lecturer and poet. In his comedic career, Berman was awarded three gold records and he won the first Grammy Award for a spoken comedy recording in 1959.

All quotes by Shelley Berman

Quotes by other comedians

This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places... You know when you order french fries and there's a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you're alarmed but you eat it. It all comes from the same place! You just have to go for it.

When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

You know those guys that eat at the strip club? Eat the buffet? How the fuck could you eat on a nasty-ass strip club? What? Are you that hungry? Motherfucker, go to Mickey D's or some shit! Not even Rwandan refugees won't eat that shit! At a damn strip club! Titties and Tater Tots don't mix!