Quote by Woody Allen:

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

Comedian
Short bio
Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American director, writer, actor, and comedian whose career spans more than six decades. He began his career as a comedy writer in the 1950s, writing jokes and scripts for television and publishing several books of short humor pieces.

All quotes by Woody Allen

Quotes by other comedians

I live in Los Angeles. It’s a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: "Hey, is that real fur?" "Of course not! That's sick!"

For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.

We have to get out there and touch the people and let them know that you are thinking about them and to try and lift their spirits and get awareness out there to the rest of the country.

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.

I'm not making this up - he goes 'Now if your neighbor marries a box turtle, that doesn't affect your everyday life. But that doesn't mean it's right.' I think it's pretty safe to assume that, at one point or another, Senator John Cornyn has thought about making love to a box turtle. I'm sorry, but that's not the first animal you jump to when you're writing that analogy.