Quote by Steven Wright:

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body only 2" taller.

Comedian
Short bio
Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

All quotes by Steven Wright

Quotes by other comedians

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was "No hugs!" Full House was all based on hugs.

Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.