Quote by Steven Wright:


It's a good apartment because they allow pets. I have a Shetland pony named Nikkie. Last summer Nikkie was involved in a bizarre electrolysis accident. All her hair was removed except for her tail. Now I rent her out to Hare Krishna family picnics.

Comedian
Short bio
Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

All quotes by Steven Wright

Quotes by other comedians

I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up... blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."

I don’t think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.

I say, when you tell the truth, you never offend nobody, particularly if you do it with dignity.