It's a good apartment because they allow pets. I have a Shetland pony named Nikkie. Last summer Nikkie was involved in a bizarre electrolysis accident. All her hair was removed except for her tail. Now I rent her out to Hare Krishna family picnics.
Quote by Steven Wright:
Quotes by other comedians
I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up... blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."
I don’t think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.
I say, when you tell the truth, you never offend nobody, particularly if you do it with dignity.