When I go, I'm flying Air Bizarre. It's a good airline. You buy a one way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday, and they bring you back the previous Friday... That way you still have the weekend.
Quote by Steven Wright:
Quotes by other comedians
It's like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match, and I'm letting him win.
My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn’t funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.
I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.