Quote by Steven Wright:

I’m going to court next week I’ve been selected for jury duty. It’s kind of an insane case, 6000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant.

Short bio
Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

All quotes by Steven Wright

Quotes by other comedians

It occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is you turn them into poor people.

I bug myself to take the pressure off of my pals.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.