As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
Quote by Tim Allen:
Quotes by other comedians
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
I don't know what possessed me, but yesterday I yelled out the wrong name in the middle of my girlfriend's funeral.
I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.