Quote by Tim Allen:

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

Comedian
Short bio
Timothy Alan Dick, known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for playing Tim "The Toolman" Taylor on the ABC sitcom Home Improvement and Mike Baxter on the ABC sitcom Last Man Standing.

All quotes by Tim Allen

Quotes by other comedians

Wear sturdy socks, learn to grow out of medium underwear and, if you must lie about your age, do it in the other direction. Tell people you're ninety-seven and they'll think you look fucking great.

I think it would be a fatal mistake to use my show as a platform for controversial issues. I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

Critics noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving as chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, where his only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was doing anyway.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.