The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to stick with your lie. If you lie, you have to believe that lie whole-heartedly. It has to become the truth for you. But this man, the most powerful man in the world, is on national TV apologizing for receiving oral sex. He's an idiot. There are men sitting in here right now who would gladly accept oral sex on national TV.
Quote by Wanda Sykes:
Quotes by other comedians
The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays "Helter Skelter."
I've heard on the news that they are thinking of putting microchips inside babies so that if they ever get kidnapped that you can track them on Google. But what if technology fails? Well here is my solution: next to the microchip, put a fucking detonator. Listen, if I can't have my baby, nobody can!
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body only 2" taller.
I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to walk to cure cancer. I'll just write a check.
I urge you to ask yourself just how honorable it is to preside over the abuse and suffering of animals.