Quote by Alonzo Bodden:

This guy asked me to go camping on vacation. Camping - that's the dumbest vacation I ever heard of in my life. What, I'm gonna work all year so I can go out and pretend I'm homeless?

Comedian
Short bio
Alonzo Bodden is an American comedian and actor known for winning the grand prize in the third season of the reality-television series Last Comic Standing. He had been the runner-up in the previous season. In 2007, he released his DVD Tall, Dark and Funny.

All quotes by Alonzo Bodden

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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

But it’s like guys are thinking, "I don't want to fuck her, what is she doing on my television?"

Have a little fun.

I have two daughters. I live next door to my brother, who has three daughters, so almost every day, I have to drive them to school. And last year, while I was driving them to school, we ran out of gas in the carpool lane because my wife does not realize it's actually legal for women to purchase gasoline, so... But we run out of gas and people are honking the horn and having to back up and go around and the kids are mortified. So the next morning, when I took them, I made sure that tank was as full as it could possibly be, and I pull up to the front of the school, and they have these assistant teachers that help open the door. And I'm not even trying to be funny. I roll down the passenger window and yell out, "I've got gas this morning!"

I'm convinced that Sanford and Son shows middle-class America a lot of what they need to know.