Quote by Alonzo Bodden:

You can't bring tweezers on an airplane. If I'm on a plane and you try to hijack it with tweezers, I'll whip your ass, man. You think I'm going to be late because you've got tweezers and a bad attitude?

Comedian
Short bio
Alonzo Bodden is an American comedian and actor known for winning the grand prize in the third season of the reality-television series Last Comic Standing. He had been the runner-up in the previous season. In 2007, he released his DVD Tall, Dark and Funny.

All quotes by Alonzo Bodden

Quotes by other comedians

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

God is like a shitty girlfriend.

With my complexion I don't tan, I stroke.

I'm a huge filmstar... but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first fifteen fucking minutes. I'm the only guy I know who died in a fucking Muppet movie.