Very neat for a boy; always cleaned up his mess, no matter where he got it on me. He's Hispanic, so he's like, 'Now who's the wetback?' I'm like, 'Hey, still you. Get back in the kitchen, those dishes aren't going to do themselves.'
Quote by Amy Schumer:
Quotes by other comedians
I was at the mall the other day, looking for a job, girlfriend, pretzel.
When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.
So it's dark and the movie already started. And that first part of the movie is always some fucking cave scene and you're just like, "Can they just flashback to a beach scene for like ten god damn seconds?"
My mother would say, "Why are you always playing alone?" And I would say, "I'm not playing, Ma. I'm fucking serious!"