Quote by Amy Schumer:

I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.

Comedian
Short bio
Amy Beth Schumer is an American stand-up comedian and actress. She ventured into comedy in the early 2000s before appearing as a contestant on the fifth season of the NBC reality competition series Last Comic Standing in 2007.

All quotes by Amy Schumer

Quotes by other comedians

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who’ve met me.

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror.

You can wait for things to happen for you or you can make things happen for you.

I'm 38 and could very much bare my midriff, but it may make some people nauseous.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.