I think it’s appropriate to start off with a rape joke. It’s good to find out what kind of audience I’m dealing with.
Quote by Anthony Jeselnik:
Quotes by other comedians
They took a survey: "Why do men get up in the middle of the night?" Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
If you've ever seen a vagina close up... it looks like an alien's gonna hop out and attach itself to your face and lay eggs in your mouth.
There's new territory, there's new places to go, new things to explore. Why stay back there? Maybe it will take three films to find another character that is really totally original, but I've got a lifetime, so why waste it just repeating myself.
It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.
You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.