Quote by Anthony Jeselnik:

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?

Short bio
Anthony Jeselnik is an American comedian, writer, actor, and producer. He is known for his dark comedy style, which emphasizes ironic misdirection, non sequiturs, biting insults, an arrogant demeanor, and a stage persona that frequently takes amoral stances.

All quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

Quotes by other comedians

Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.

I didn't apply to different schools. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do.

Then I will tape the sets and even though I'm not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.