Quote by Aries Spears:

My momma used to kick in the door like SWAT!

Short bio
Aries Spears is an American stand-up comedian, actor and writer from New York City. Spears was a regular on Fox's sketch comedy series MADtv, appearing in 198 episodes, making him the second longest-serving cast member on the show behind Michael McDonald.

All quotes by Aries Spears

Quotes by other comedians

Bitch was so fine I'd suck her daddy's dick.

A person asked me, "How do you prepare for the stage?" I told her, "Well, it's like this. You go to diction school. They teach you to fill your mouth with marbles and talk right through the marbles. Each day you take one marble out. When you've lost all your marbles..."

I had trouble with the last relationship. I got scared a little bit and had two Amish people come over who were friends of mine. They had an erection raising.

When you're born, you're pure. Unspoiled and trusting. Some say, it's the only time we're perfect. You're also born covered in blood and placenta. No one gets nostalgic about that.

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.