Quote by Aries Spears:

How do you ask a woman to gargle your nuts?

Short bio
Aries Spears is an American stand-up comedian, actor and writer from New York City. Spears was a regular on Fox's sketch comedy series MADtv, appearing in 198 episodes, making him the second longest-serving cast member on the show behind Michael McDonald.

All quotes by Aries Spears

Quotes by other comedians

For a long time, because it goes against the message that the advertising world sends to you, they were ashamed they didn't have the coolest clothes, the coolest cars, couldn't afford to go here, buy this and do that. I think we finally all got together and went, 'You know what? We like being this way.'

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

I don't wanna die tomorrow knowing that I could have had a piece of chocolate cake tonight.

Best job I ever had was working in the cleaners. That was a good job. I cried like a bitch when they fired me. They fired me for wearing other people's clothes.

I'm trying to drop an asshole a day from my life and doing the math I'll be done in the year 3011.