Quote by Arj Barker:

The last time I smoked pot and drove a car I ended up getting pulled over by a street cleaner. Marijuana has been scientifically proven to distort one’s perception of depth and distance. So driving’s a terrible idea. 'Cuz you’re in your car, like, "Oh man, I got a small steering wheel. Well, I am a magical gnome.. so that’s pretty cool." "Maybe I’ll pull over by that pine tree and take a hike... oh wait, shit, that’s the air freshener!"

Comedian
Short bio
Arjan Singh, known by the stage name Arj Barker, is an American comedian and actor from San Anselmo, California. He has toured in North America, Australia, New Zealand, and Europe. He was born to an engineer father and artist mother, and is half-Indian, half-European. His father is of Sikh heritage.

All quotes by Arj Barker

Quotes by other comedians

We are just happy that we are here in Brazil and that this was a good ending.

If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

We live in a three dimensional plane. Life is on the third planet from the sun not the second. Ain't nobody lying on a piece of paper looking at each other.

I have no problem with illegal immigration in this country, except for the fact that they don't serve on jury duty. That's horse shit. It should be the other way around - they should serve exclusively on jury duty. Then it finally would be a jury of one's own peers. It's not a stereotype if it's always true; then it becomes law.