The last time I smoked pot and drove a car I ended up getting pulled over by a street cleaner. Marijuana has been scientifically proven to distort one’s perception of depth and distance. So driving’s a terrible idea. 'Cuz you’re in your car, like, "Oh man, I got a small steering wheel. Well, I am a magical gnome.. so that’s pretty cool." "Maybe I’ll pull over by that pine tree and take a hike... oh wait, shit, that’s the air freshener!"
Quote by Arj Barker:
Quotes by other comedians
A lot of good love can happen in ten years.
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
And really almost like every TV star who loses his job. Now what am I going to do, everybody asks. What am I going to do now? Like every TV star before I’m going to find some crack. I’m going to get on the pipe. Lose that unwanted 110 pounds I’ve been trying to lose.