When I was a kid, I was into The New York Jets. And then I got into girls as I got older, and then I got back into the Jets because I'd realized there's times when the girl won't fuck you, but the Jets will always fuck you.
Quote by Artie Lange:
Quotes by other comedians
I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.