I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Quote by Artie Lange:
Quotes by other comedians
You see people waving. You don't see people having problems, with each other at least.
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Let go of the damn door! Sit your ass on the kerb, I will come around and let ya in!