Quote by Artie Lange:


I did drugs wrong. I’m the only guy who ever got fat on cocaine. I went to rehab for coke, and a black guy came up to me and said, "Damn, man, what are you pouring that shit on, cheeseburgers?"

Comedian
Short bio
Arthur Steven Lange Jr. is an American stand-up comedian and actor, best known for his tenures on The Howard Stern Show and the sketch comedy series Mad TV. Born and raised in New Jersey, Lange first worked as a longshoreman and taxi driver to help support his family following the death of his quadriplegic father.

All quotes by Artie Lange

Quotes by other comedians

The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you’re like me and you want like to eat healthy, get your stick of butter baked.

A salamander can grow a new tail in three weeks. My dad can score new tail in three minutes.

My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?