Quote by Bill Burr:

Haven’t you noticed that every time the government fucks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?

Comedian
Short bio
William Frederick Burr is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and podcaster. Outside of stand-up, he is known for playing Patrick Kuby in the AMC crime drama series Breaking Bad, creating and starring in the Netflix animated sitcom F Is for Family, and co-founding the All Things Comedy network.

All quotes by Bill Burr

Quotes by other comedians

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it... like lunch or dinner.

If only someone would do for cows what Bambi did for deer. Cows have been in films, but they haven't starred. I'm still willing to eat a species that is only a supporting player.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

They always say that Albert Einstein was a genius. Then how come when anyone ever calls you that, it's an insult? 'You don't know where you parked the car? Good job, Einstein.' I don't think we're honoring that man properly by using his name in vain in parking lots.