Quote by Bill Engvall

Webster's dictionary defines awesome as "anything that leaves you in awe and wonder." Like winning the lottery twice. That would be awesome. Getting a phone call from the IRS saying you've been audited and they owe you $50,000. That would be awesome. Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads "Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth." That would be awesome. Getting invited to the Playboy Mansion on trampoline night. That would be awesome. And I started thinking what would be awesome for Bill Engvall? What would leave me in awe and wonder? And it would have to be if I left this stage tonight and went back to my hotel room. And Shania Twain met me at my door, wearing nothing but a fur coat, holding a note from my wife that said "have a good time." That would be awesome! It ain't gonna happen; but that would be awesome.