Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
Quote by Bill Engvall:
Quotes by other comedians
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.