What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.
Quote by Bo Burnham:
Quotes by other comedians
You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. It's the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.
My parents' divorce settlement involved a bar tab.
They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.