My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
Quote by Bob Saget:
Quotes by other comedians
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument, and right below their image it said "Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.