Quote by Bob Saget:

I have an ex-wife, can you tell - Cock shit fuck - but... I have a wonderful ex-wife, I really do. She's a great mom, and she's doing great. She's fuckin' rich - that's hey boyfriend's name.

Comedian
Short bio
Robert Lane Saget is an American stand-up comedian, actor, television host and director. His television roles include Danny Tanner on the ABC sitcom Full House and its Netflix sequel Fuller House, and hosting America's Funniest Home Videos from 1989 to 1997. Saget is also known for his adult-oriented stand-up routine.

All quotes by Bob Saget

Quotes by other comedians

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

He can procrastinate more than any kid I've ever met in my life. When I tell my son to go take a shower, it can easily be forty-five minutes before I hear the water start running. Do you got one like this? He gets up in his bathroom, 'cause he has go to the bathroom again. And I don't even think he has to go; I think he just enjoys the comfort of that seat. It's like his La-Z-Boy rocker. He's got books in front of it, and LEGOs. And one night, I told him to go take a shower, and I didn't hear the water run for about an hour, and I said "that is it!" And I went upstairs and I walked in his room, and I heard this "boom, boom, boom." And I looked around the corner of the bathroom, he is standing butt naked in front of the mirror going "shake your boom boom, shake your boom boom." And I let it go for about ten seconds, then went "Shake, boy!" We don't nekkid dance anymore.

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions.

My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.

Leadership camp? Isn't that where Hitler went?