Quote by Bob Saget:

I'm completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.

Comedian
Short bio
Robert Lane Saget is an American stand-up comedian, actor, television host and director. His television roles include Danny Tanner on the ABC sitcom Full House and its Netflix sequel Fuller House, and hosting America's Funniest Home Videos from 1989 to 1997. Saget is also known for his adult-oriented stand-up routine.

All quotes by Bob Saget

Quotes by other comedians

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.

You might be a redneck if you think a 401(k) is your mother-in-law's bra size.

When I was a boy, we had forty five statues of saints in my house. Ever have ninety eyes looking at you every time you have to go to the bathroom?

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.