There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.
Quote by Bonnie McFarlane:
Quotes by other comedians
Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our lives?
A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.