Once my sister busted a nut watching a headliner I worked with. He closed his set by miming the insertion of a tampon up his asshole. I don't recall the exact joke. After his set my sister made a beeline for him, running roughshod over the other more delicate comedy groupies. She gushed about his tampon bit and then told him he should get an actual tampon and really stick it up there. And then she laughed like crazy. I thought it was a good note.
Quote by Bonnie McFarlane:
Quotes by other comedians
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
I tell you one thing that's great about children. They don't need a show to have fun. What do they need? A book of matches, some oily rags, a little brother… that's all they need.
A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."