Quote by Brian Regan:


"How many outs Brian?" "Grape! I'm gonna get grape, or cherry. They're both... favorites, so either one is good, but if they have both, I'll get grape, because grape is a little more favorite. But if they don't have grape it's like alright its fine, cause cherry's favorite anyway. It's like another favorite, but not as much. Not as much favorite. But they're both good. They're both good." The second baseman was always tryin' to help me out. "Hey, Brian move that way a little." "Okay." I don't know what gave him the authority to tell me that. "Oh, here? Oh, right here? Oh, over there, okay. This is where I was!" I remember he'd always tell me. "Two away, Brian! Two away!" "Uhhh... okay." "Brian! Two away!" "You too!"

Comedian
Short bio
Brian Joseph Regan is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. His performances are clean as he refrains from profanity and off-color humor.

All quotes by Brian Regan

Quotes by other comedians

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.'

Yeah... Just get your shit together and start booking yourself again.

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.