Quote by Brian Regan:


I heard on the news once, and my uncle does this. The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow, where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crank of noon, make sure there's no corn growin'. You know we used to not grow tomatoes, but there's more money in not growin' corn."

Comedian
Short bio
Brian Joseph Regan is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. His performances are clean as he refrains from profanity and off-color humor.

All quotes by Brian Regan

Quotes by other comedians

I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich.

I don't like horror movies because I'm squeamish. But I go because my ex's like to go. They like to pull for the antichrist.

I know pushing out babies is hard. But on September 11, I panicked and tried to push one back.