Quote by Brian Regan:


I’m lookin’ at the Pop-Tarts box and I notice they have directions on there. I give up on this species… They have toaster directions, which, I’m not makin’ this up, the toaster directions are longer than one step. I don’t know how that’s possible that the directions are longer than one. You think it would be, “Step one: Toast the Pop-Tarts. Go ahead, toast ‘em. It’s okay. Hey, are you still readin’ this?”

Comedian
Short bio
Brian Joseph Regan is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. His performances are clean as he refrains from profanity and off-color humor.

All quotes by Brian Regan

Quotes by other comedians

50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends.

Nothing can take the sting off the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other golden statues.