Quote by Brian Regan:

He died of natural causes? Well he got shot in the face with a bazooka... So naturally he’d be dead.

Short bio
Brian Joseph Regan is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. His performances are clean as he refrains from profanity and off-color humor.

All quotes by Brian Regan

Quotes by other comedians

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

They fucked around, started negotiating with those white people, they lost all that shit... And what they didn't lose negotiating, white people just kicked their ass on out of..

They have a section called, 'New Baby.' I don't think you need the word 'new.' They'd have to clear up confusion. 'Do you have an Old Baby section? 'Cause my friend's had a baby, and I let time get away from me, and he's 12.'