Oh, this is fun - went to a nude beach for the first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever been to a nude beach? Thought it would be all sexy and hot. Oh my God, what a flubber fest! Everybody who shouldn't be naked is naked - didn't make me want to take off my clothes, made me want to take out my contacts.
Quote by Carol Leifer:
Quotes by other comedians
I was doing this 'dee dee dee' joke. You know what 'dee dee dee' means, right? It means stupid. This lady gets all pissed at me: 'Excuse me, sir, what if there was someone severely retarded in the crowd right now?' I'm like, 'Well, he's severely retarded, lady. Obviously he wouldn't know I'm fuckin' with him.'
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
I'm the Lord of the Dance! Fuck Michael Flatley, it's me!