Quote by Chelsea Handler:


Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq.

Comedian
Short bio
Chelsea Joy Handler is an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, producer, and activist. She hosted the late-night talk show Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014, and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016.

All quotes by Chelsea Handler

Quotes by other comedians

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures.