Quote by Chelsea Handler:


I recently had sex with a midget. Not on purpose - he was a tricky little fucker. He kept giving me shot after shot after shot of tequila and would keep getting taller and taller and taller.

Comedian
Short bio
Chelsea Joy Handler is an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, producer, and activist. She hosted the late-night talk show Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014, and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016.

All quotes by Chelsea Handler

Quotes by other comedians

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.

I loved when Bush came out and said, "We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.