I recently had sex with a midget. Not on purpose - he was a tricky little fucker. He kept giving me shot after shot after shot of tequila and would keep getting taller and taller and taller.
Quote by Chelsea Handler:
Quotes by other comedians
I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.
I loved when Bush came out and said, "We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.
I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.