Quote by Craig Ferguson:


If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

Comedian
Short bio
Craig Ferguson is a Scottish-American television host, comedian, author, and actor. He hosted the syndicated game show Celebrity Name Game, for which he won two Daytime Emmy Awards, and of Join or Die with Craig Ferguson on History.

All quotes by Craig Ferguson

Quotes by other comedians

The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?

I'm so excited - I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.