Quote by Dana Gould:

Suspicious Suicide Note: "Dear world, you're probably wondering why I tied my hands behind my back and sawed my head off..."

Comedian
Short bio
Dana John Gould is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and voice artist who has been featured on HBO, Showtime, and Comedy Central.

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I try to avoid people's eyes because I don't like to get that intimate with just anybody. i don't need the responsibility.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Goliath’s mother, who said to Goliath, "Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned!" Never got a dinner!

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

I started a big part of my career in Vegas.