I swear on my unborn child's life i didn't eat your fucking ice cream.
Quote by Dane Cook:
Quotes by other comedians
Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.
That which does not kill you isn't finished.
If I would've married me I would have outlawed foreplay. I would have been pissed at myself in bed but had more time to read great novels.
They don't see that whole pattern. Worm/death. Worm/death. I would catch on.
There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.