Quote by Dane Cook:

Oh no, Mr. Kool-Aid Man, oh no! You better fix that hole in my wall before my dad comes home and beats me with a toaster.

Comedian
Short bio
Dane Jeffrey Cook is an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident.

All quotes by Dane Cook

Quotes by other comedians

What do they call that hat Jewish guys always wear? A Yankees cap.

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!