Quote by Dane Cook:

Don't use a peanut, a peanut goes rogue. A cashew contours to the tip as if to say, "Let's do this, I'm a cashew."

Comedian
Short bio
Dane Jeffrey Cook is an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident.

All quotes by Dane Cook

Quotes by other comedians

I was having a great day until I woke up.

You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

A new restaurant here in Southern California requires women to wear high heels. I’m outraged! This is sexist! Why just the women?

But the two of them together, broke my heart. Olympia and Peter, those scenes... When they're kissing in their 20s and then kissing in their 70s, that's what it is. And they had never met five minutes before they shot those scenes.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year".