Quote by Dat Phan:

I watch Japanese animation, right? My mom's like, 'Dat Phan, you cannot watch cartoon - it's too violent!' This is the same woman that goes, like, 'Dat Phan, if you don't take out the trash now, I will kill you!'

Short bio
Dat Phan is a Vietnamese American stand-up comedian. He first rose to fame in 2003 after defeating runner-up Ralphie May to win Season 1 of Last Comic Standing.

All quotes by Dat Phan

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Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

It is not important to know what facts are true. The relationships portrayed are real. My mother did have a job interview with my father. She worked alongside him for awhile, they dated, were married and had a family. She never did get to the World's Fair.

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.