I watch Japanese animation, right? My mom's like, 'Dat Phan, you cannot watch cartoon - it's too violent!' This is the same woman that goes, like, 'Dat Phan, if you don't take out the trash now, I will kill you!'
Quote by Dat Phan:
Quotes by other comedians
I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.
The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.