I think it’s weird when you give someone flowers… Really saying here you go, now watch these die, cause I like you. I feel like you should give someone flowers if you want to threaten them, here you’re next. Better put your feet in water 'cause I’m coming for you.
Quote by Demetri Martin:
Quotes by other comedians
George Bush says, "Gore's book needs a lot of explaining." Of course, Bush says that about every book.
I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before!
I ran into a woman I dated last year. I said, "You gave me a rash!" She said, "Put something on it." I said, "OK. Ten bucks says it was you."