I lost my virginity junior year of college, I was 21… I was awkward, and I was raised Jehovah’s Witness so I thought sex was bad, I thought I was going to go to hell, and get AIDS immediately.
Quote by Donald Glover:
Quotes by other comedians
I’m a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.
I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.
The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They’ll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that’s bullshit.
I’m driving down the highway, there’s a guy hitchhiking he’s holding a sign that says ‘heaven’. So i hit him.
Sometimes I can do a pretty clean show, since I perform at churches all the time. And sometimes I might use a "damn" or "shit" that comes out. But there's nothing that's vulgar or disrespectful. It's all good and it's all still funny, though. And I don't care what color the crowd is - black, white, Asian, whoever. It don't matter. Funny's funny and I'm gonna get them to laugh.