There’s just something about when kids do something, it’s always going to be funny, because kids grow up. Nobody doesn’t grow up, and whatever you do as a kid usually isn’t considered amazing when you’re an adult. A baby changing its own diaper, you’d be like, “That baby is a fucking genius.” But when he’s 27, you’re like, “He shouldn’t be wearing diapers anymore.”
Quote by Donald Glover:
Quotes by other comedians
I called them up, "Ya, I have ten boxes; can you come pick them up?" "We need to know the weight and the girth." "Okay, good-bye." So I called back. "We need the weight and the girth." "Okay, I don't know what the weight is, and um, I don't know what girth means... So now what's the procedure?" So this guy talks to me like I'm four years old. "Well do you have a bathroom scale?" "Uh, ya but if I put the box on the scale it's gonna cover up the numbers!" What, do I take it off really quick? Ah, zero: I'm not fast enough. What's he talking about? So then he gives me his Mister Wizard Formula, "How about if you stand on the scale and weigh yourself and get off the scale. Pick up the box, get back on, weigh you and the box together, and subtract your own weight." I'm going, "Slow down. Hold on professor." I know this guys never tried this, because I tried it and you still can't see the numbers! Then I had to hang up in the middle of his girth formula.
Pseudoscience describes theories that sound like science but are actually just made up, like aromatherapy or biorhythms or love.
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don’t kiss; we touch gloves.