Quote by Doug Stanhope:


If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? Would you go "Baby, this shit we got together? It's so good we gotta get the government in on this shit. We can't just share this commitment between us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this shit, baby. It's hot!"

Comedian

Quotes by other comedians

You might be a redneck if your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

Laughter is an instant vacation.