Quote by Doug Stanhope:

Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don’t want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it’s different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason…

Comedian

Popular quotes by other comedians

I went to school, you know. I was in grammar school. Once we were taking a test. I was copying this other kid’s paper, and I guess the teacher heard my Xerox machine. And she said, “Emo, am I stupid or were you cheating?” I said, “Ah, yes and no.”

I learned about sex the hard way… from books.

Any issues my parents went through are very prominent in the movie, even though they enjoyed a happy relationship. The story actually started for me when my mom told me a few years ago that because she got a job, she never made it to the World's Fair in New York, and that's a missed opportunity that always stayed with her.

Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now.' He didn't need to admit that. He's blind. Could have said it was an accident.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.