As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them. You will do shit that even the Devil would go "dude..."
Quote by Robin Williams:
Quotes by other comedians
Have a good night pals. I mean someone has to.
Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him.
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.